Dear Andrew

Do you ever wonder if your kids know just how you feel about them?  I tell them I love them.  I tell them how great they are, but do they really know how I feel?  A friend of mine started writing letters to her kids every few months.  And, while, I don't think I can get that done, one night I just started writing...and I did it.  I wrote to Andrew and Parker and I told them exactly how I feel, at this time in our lives.  It was an interesting thing for me to do, to really think about my kiddos and how they've changed my life...how they are my life.

Today I'm sharing Andrew's letter with you.

I'm hoping that this will encourage my friends out there to do the same.  It's a wonderful exercise for your heart and it gives your children something to reflect on when they are older.

March 20, 2014

Dear Andrew,

I want you to know how incredible I think you are.  From the moment you were born, you’ve been quiet.  You are my shy boy.  I think this is often the case with younger siblings.  But, I love this about you.  And, even though you are quiet, you have an amazing sparkle about you that lights up the room whenever you smile.  Your smile makes my heart soar and people always tell me that you have the kindest and gentlest smile they’ve ever seen.  Oh my, do I agree.  I always tell you that you are my sweetie boy and that fits you so perfectly.  

When you were born, I couldn’t hold you for three days.  It was the most painful experience I’ve ever had.  And, once I could hold you, my dear, I couldn’t put you down.  I was determined to make up for those lost three days and I think that today I’m still trying to do that.  I want to spend every second snuggling you, talking to you, playing with you, and just being there for you.  It’s what I do best and because of this, we have formed a bond, that I was worried would be lacking because of our time apart when you were first born.  But, oh my, is it there.  It is something fierce.  And, it lights a fire in my heart that gives me determination and courage to face this world.  And it’s all because of you.

I can’t imagine my world without you.  You have given me so much in the three years (and four months) you’ve been in my life.  You’ve taught me perseverance, patience, love, determination, how to admit my fears, and how to overcome those fears.  You provide me with new challenges almost every day, but every time we get through those challenges, I am ten times the person I was before, and I am so thankful for you for giving me all of these things and for choosing me to be your Momma.

There are so many things I love about you, but the things I love the most are the little things.  There are these little characteristics that YOU, and only YOU, have.  Things like when you lay down to go to sleep, you fake snore for about three minutes before you actually fall asleep.  Things like, when I get you a glass of chocolate milk, you always sing, “Choc-o-late milk time!  Choc-o-late milk time!”  Or when I tell you I love you or how brave I think you are or how much fun I think you are, you always look me in the eye and say, “Fwanks (thanks) Mom.”  Or that you love to role-play and you are always assigning us characters from your favorite shows…often asking us to dress in character.  You love people, but you’re so shy…for example, your aunts, who you’re so shy around, would never guess how excited you get when you know you’re going to visit them.  Or how you absolutely love babies and you are so kind and loving to them all of the time.  Or how every night you say to dad, like it’s the biggest surprise, “Dad!  You get to wuggle (snuggle) me tonight!”  And his response is always just as excited.  Or how you rub Bella’s ears and say, “Who is my dirl?  Who is my dirl?”  And her tail wags because she knows how much you love her.  I love it that you can jump on the trampoline for hours…yes, hours.  Or, how when you’re sad or scared, you almost always turn to your brother for a hug or a hand…and he’s always there for you.  Or when you’re nervous or shy, you curl up in my lap and tell me that you’re scared or cold or sad...and it makes me smile that you can tell me this when just a few months ago, you couldn’t find the words to express your feelings.

I love it all and I just wanted you to know. 

My sweetie boy, you have my heart.  I love you.

--Mom