Brother Quarrels

Not so long ago I wrote about the brotherly bond between my two boys.  When it's great, it is awesome!  But, then there are these little moments.  Moments between these boys that drive me crazy.  They have quarrels.  Parker takes a toy from Andrew and he gets mad at him.  Andrew decides he doesn't want Parker anywhere near him so he pushes him away.  Parker lays on Andrews pillow and Andrew doesn't want him to.  Andrew won't let go of Parker's Kai Ninjago lego man {Andrew's favorite...that Parker always seems to want}.  Parker eats some of Andrew's Goldfish.  Andrew destroys Parker's Lego jet.  Parker pushes Andrew out of the way to get up the ladder faster to go down the slide first.  Andrew wants to watch Blue's Clues.  Parker wants to watch He-Man {don't ask}.

{These boys were just fighting over who got to wear the roller skates.  Parker was feeling nice and said Andrew could have them...only to snatch up Andrew's tricycle which Parker is way too big for and he knows will drive Andrew bonkers.}

{I think this is Parker's victory face.  I can see his tonsils.  My weird boy.}

And it goes on and on and on and on.

The consequence from all of these actions: A Brother Quarrel.

A shove.  Crying.  A shout of 'That's not FAIR!'  A hit.  Even a bite sometimes {Andrew's favorite form of defense these days}.  Grabbing toys from each other.  A yell to Mom and Dad.  An 'I hate Blue's Clues!'  'That's mine!' 'No!'

Right now it seems almost comical.  And, as much as I know these boys need to work through these issues, I have to be honest, most of the time, I feel like I'm playing the role of referee more than loving, caring, mother.  Do I let them duke it out?  Do I let them push and shove and take toys from one another?

{Parker finally picked something of his own to play with.}

{And, then Andrew decided he wanted the Razor scooter.}

For some reason, I can't.  I always step in.  I smooth things over.  I make it seem like they are both getting what they want - it's this magic I have.  I have this ability to make them both believe they have won.  Now, stop right here.

Don't think I always give my kiddos what they want.  That's not how it works.  My magic - it is teaching them to think things through.  I stop them from taking, biting, hitting, shoving, throwing a WAF, and I ask them to think of who had the toy to begin with...who got to choose the movie last time...what other Ninja's are there to play with...what is something they could both do together where there wouldn't be a quarrel involved?

The outcome.

Sharing, caring, hugs, and yes, even sometimes there's an apology.  There's two little boys who are learning to play together, think of the other's feelings, and smooth things over.  One day they will have this same magic {although the cause of this magic makes me want to pull my hair out some days, ignore the situation, and let Andrew and Parker waller on each other}.

{Reading books together before bed.}

Brother quarrels are normal.  They get crazy sometimes.  But, I know that these brother quarrels are simply a part of the brotherly bond they share.  I'm just here to help them work through those days where they can't seem to get a long for more than five minutes...oh, and I make the best snacks.

I love these brothers.  Quarrels and all.

**This is what works for my boys.  I know that others have different view points and opinions on how to help kids learn to cope with one another and getting along with their siblings.  What works for your family?  It's always interesting {and encouraging} for me to know how other moms and dads handle these types of issues with their kids.